List of 1904 disasters, USA:
The Eden train wreck
The Harwick Mine disaster
The New Market train wreck
The San Francisco Plague
The New York birthing of Magnolia Brown
When Magnolia Brown was born on April 1st, her Father thought it was an April Fool’s joke. “Didn’t ya think I was getting’ kinda fat?!” asked his wife. “Yeah, but I thought it was all dem pickles you was eatin’!” the husband explained.
May 1919: with peace firmly in with the previous year’s Treaty of Versailles, Mr Brown decided to move to California to avoid “Zapplin [sic] attacks”
June 1919: the Brown family arrives in Miami
September 1919: the Brown family finally realise that they are in Florida, not California. Mr brown realises the publisher must have printed the road map upside down.
1923: After being held back for a couple of years, Magnolia’s Principle, Miss Harris, signs her High School Diploma in a visibly shaking hand. Magnolia’s Father frames the Diploma, where it goes on the wall of the family home, next to his certificate for coming 3rd in a sandcastle-making competition.
It is the family’s second proudest moment.
1923: Magnolia secures a job as Legal Secretary to Frank Tennille by the clever ruse of not understanding that she has failed the interview.
1924: After a heated argument with her Father over “How many beans make five?” (both were wrong) Magnolia moves into an apartment share with her landlady, the comedienne Kelly Patt and Betty Wu, a student.
1924: Frank Tennille shot dead, a mercy when you consider who his secretary.
1924: Magnolia, dating gangster Carmen Messini, gets a job with Coppe, Miggins, Coppe when all other job candidates strangely drop out of the running.